Sunday, November 27, 2005

Grieving

The trip down to the extended family Turkey Day went well. Mum and I had a really nice time and met some more extended family. Friday we went back to Mum's place. I called Eli while we were eating breakfast. He sounded a bit distressed and said he'd talk to me when he got to Mum's that evening. We ended up having another phone conversation because he was worried that I thought something was wrong between the two of us. I was concerned, of course, but it hadn't occurred to me that it might be something I had done. Anyway, it wasn't.

Eli's oldest brother called Thursday night and told Eli that their father was in hospital and had been there since the beginning of the week. Dad had an infection of some sort and had been on antibiotics for a while. We don't know yet whether the drugs or something else had given Dad diarrhoea. Anyway, the oldest brother had visited Dad and noticed his weakened condition and took him to hospital. He was admitted and some tests were run. It also happened that they found a clot in his heart and damaged heart valves (Dad had five bypasses earlier this year).

Jump to Saturday. Mum, Eli, Bro#1 and his wife and I were at the Seattle Museum of Art for the Tiffany exhibit. The rest of us had gotten a bit ahead of Eli. I wandered back to a previous room and there he was looking kind of lost. I wandered up and poked him in the side and asked him if he was lost. Eli turned to me with a stunned look and tears in his eyes. He choked out that his younger brother called to tell him that their father had just passed away. I hugged him for a couple minutes and told him to go downstairs and that after I told Mum what was going on I'd catch up to him. The rest of the family gave us a few minutes downstairs before catching up to us.

We're flying out tomorrow sometime for the service which will be held Wednesday or Thursday, per Eli's oldest brother. We'll probably be staying at Dad's house.

Dad also had a cat. If there's no one else available to take him, we'll bring him home with us.

In spite of Dad's previous heart problems, this has been a shock to everyone. He had been doing so well. Hug your loved ones and let them know you love them.

I don't really know how to end this post. It'll be quiet here for the next week or so.

7 comments:

Frisbee Girl said...

Deborah, I'm so incredibly sorry. All kinds of warm and healing thoughts to you and your families.

Shelley said...

Oh, dear, I am so sorry. My sincerest condolences to you and E and his family.

Sillynun said...

My thoughts, prayers, chants, and warm wishes are with you and Eli as you grief this loss.

May all beings be free of suffering and the root of suffering.

May we all know peace.

Much love
Vince

deborah said...

Thanks to you all for the good wishes. As it turns out we're flying out on Tuesday. It just worked best all around.

Roni said...

I'm so sorry, sweetie. Give Eli a big hug for me. Stay strong, but cry when you need to. Lots of love.

moggiemomma said...

you'll both be in my thoughts - take good care and i'm so sorry for your loss.

Tara said...

I'm so sorry :(